Naive

Made a comment on the Tricycle blog yesterday, just an experiment to see if it drove any traffic to this one. It did: three hits. But it was a childish comment, not too well thought out and I blushed when I read it again.

Caring for myself is a continuous effort. Caught myself again this morning being too hard, too rigid, too unforgiving.

"You should know more about this thing called Buddhism!" I was screaming inside. "You have been studying this for over three years now! Why are you making childish comments on serious blogs?"

No, that is not very realistic or helpful at all. That is a sure ticket to falling off the wagon. That is a sure ticket to breakdown and collapse.

Then I realized something. I am naive and that's ok. I don't know everything. This society is missing naive. We are cynical, we know everything there is to know, yet still we are very, very sad. We lash ourselves with barbed wire tongues. We are never good enough. The conditions for our happiness are always just out of reach. I know this is true for me. I see it in others too.

It's ok though. It's good to just see that. I'm going to keep trying. I'm going to cultivate this bit of naive today. I'm going to coax it out until it turns into love for myself, simple and fresh.

I'll let you know how it goes...